Women Empowerment, anyone?
The few and a half men in our lives, do they have any reason to be miserable about? From the ladies, I won’t take anything else but a ‘No’ for an answer. From the men, I’ll take anything they give me. See, that is exactly what I am talking about. Get the flow? Periods, PMS, child birth(or not) and then finally the pains of losing everything you’re accustomed to, every month of your life since that first crush, or even before. All in all, an ache is the highlight of every woman’s life, whether you believe it or not. And yet, we are not the privileged ones, who could be given special treatment in every walk of life. So, we gossip, shop, have chocolates, go for make-overs and then indulge in guilt trips.
Men are a happier species. And why should they not be? Spoon fed by mothers, spoilt by sisters, admired to the level of a God by wives – what else do they need to be happy? Oh yes, they need sports, loud action movies, beer, cigarettes, bar dancers and food. What a life, I must say! They can literally live in a mess, and not be depressed about it. They can wear the same denims for almost a month without wondering if anyone noticed. They don’t have to worry about heels and spa deals. Pedicure-they don’t know what that word means. Fussy in-laws and cranky kids are an unheard of territory. If happiness means a cricket match then why should boys not have all the fun?
They are the masters of their universe, giving us women an illusion that their world revolves around us. Ask them to accompany you for a shopping trip to the mall when an under-nineteen polo match between Kenya and Bangladesh is on, and the universe comes crumbling down. If you persist even then, there comes a “Don’t-even-think-about-it” look until the match, presentation ceremony, extra-innings and double extra long discussions about it are over. Give another shot and ask him to order a shoe-rack or a bath-mat for you online and he, might as well do it alongside the match!!!
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| Before |
They have conquered Mars, but Shopping is one territory men are still lagging behind, even though they are the privileged ones. Cricket matches and dropped catches won’t help there. But, do they really bother? I guess no. They won’t care a damn until shopping is given the official title of an ‘Ultimate Stress-busting Sport’. Since anything called sport amuses them, I am hoping this would make a considerable difference in our lives. So, let us all start a petition for this official name-calling, so that we can help men achieve the impossible( And benefit from it, for once). Petition is perhaps the greatest idea of all times. I think I should get it patented. Truth is, it struck me while I was having an apple, but I don’t really want to keep the cute doctor away.
Until that brilliant idea works out, the simple solution could be shopping online. I’ve ordered books, clothes, cup-cakes, flowers, chocolates, groceries, mugs, ceramics, bags, gadgets and even mithai(mind you, not sweets but mithai) online. And there has been no disappointment ever! The best out of the lot would be when I ordered Still Reading Khan, from Amazon.com, for a friend(who is more of a soul sister to me) living in the US. Most of the Indian shopping portals don’t have an option for International delivery, so Amazon was my lifeline! I knew, the book was a perfect birthday gift for her. Both of us, are in love with the man, and I call her my ‘fellow-sautan’. The joy of giving, combined with love for the lady made the gift so special. The most memorable thing about it was the phone call I got at 2 a.m. , India time when she got the surprise delivery! I had instructed them, not to call her before delivering, keeping it a surprise. We were both laughing, and crying at the same moment, over phone, thousands of miles apart, but still connected! The delivery was done, the day I wanted, the time I wanted.They really made me feel that the world is, indeed shrinking 🙂
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| Me and She – Loving the same man- SRK, since the time we could remember ! |
I strayed away for a while, lost in emotion and I am sure all men here thought I have lost it.But, before I let you stray and click that red cross on the window, let me tell you I am back. You guys hate shopping, but better try playing shopping mania with women, as it is going to be a sport soon, I assure you. Don’t believe this at the risk of your team losing to a bunch of women from Hisar. Remember, Komal Chautala , Chak De India? 😉 So, better gear up.
I guess there is no point warning them. Men will be men and won’t care for lifting those colorful bags with us. Instead, they’ll mess up the homes we took so much pains to clean, would blatantly say their mom cooks better than what we manage and as always leave the seat up. But there is still hope. Sitting together, watching that dreaded cricket match over a cup of freshly brewed coffee and browsing catalogs side by side could work like magic. Women get the satisfaction, they never got while shopping with their man at a mall, and the man simply gets rid of the shopping extravaganza.
Online shopping opens up a plethora of advantages for a woman as against one advantage of not having to “go” shopping for a man. Shopping from the comforts of your home means no more fights over the wasted droplets of petrol when you just can’t point your finger at what you really want and have to check out every store in town for that perfect pair of denims. Also, comparing catalogs and prices on various portals would guarantee the best deal without having to manually check the prices. Sales which last the whole year through are any woman’s dream come true. Not having that annoying salesman hovering over your head while you look around is a bonus not to be missed.
Saying no and coming out of a shop after you’ve made that shopkeeper open hundreds of items gets difficult at times. Women like me feel it is a crime they are doing and buy something in pity but never wear it. Online shopping solves that problem as well. No “nahi-lena-tha-to khulvaya-kyu” looks here! Window shop for hours together as if no one is watching because, no one is really watching.
There are a few hidden advantages of Online shopping for men as well. Let me enlighten the guys now, in the language you understand. Even though the wifey is busy searching for that perfect curtain for your bedroom, she can’t deny you home cooked food because she is tired. You can easily pretend to actively participate in the entire shopping escapade, while you’re really glued on TV. No shopping sprees means no cranky kids. She would be happy to entertain your friends, to show off all that she shopped. Now coming to the biggest advantage of it all – Even if she doesn’t like it, or it doesn’t fit her or whatever excuse she gives you for exchanging something she had bought – you would never have to face the embarrassment of returning or exchanging it! It’ll be the shopping portal’s headache. But, please be sympathetic to the call center guys who have to handle this crisis of unimaginable magnitude as they don’t know who they are messing up with.
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| After |
Men, you would have to agree that online indulgence is the best shopping experience ever, regardless of what she is looking for. Everything is available at a click of a mouse without the drama which shopping is all about. The look on her face when the delivery guy comes, sure is priceless, although it could give you shots of envy for a while as her attention shifts from you to him.
You could even re-new your wedding vows to suit the scenario! I’ve already re-written mine! Until the petition of naming shopping a sport is signed by the ladies, and proper action is taken, let us shop online,together,in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health till credit card bills do us part!
Picture Credits – Google.
